The Terrorists Are in the House. Let’s Unify Over Getting Rid of Them

Let’s do this together, shall we? Let’s take hands and peer over into the abyss and hope that it doesn’t peer back. Okay, into the mouth of madness we go…

Here’s what we know that Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene believes just from things she has said, written, or responded to positively, more or less in order from completely barking mad to dangerously batshit (although the line is mighty, mighty thin):

1. She has expressed support for the existence of the so-insane-it-may-as-well-be-scrawled-in-shit-on-a-padded-room-wall QAnon idea know as “frazzledrip.” According to the shit scrawlers, the name comes from a file on Anthony Weiner’s laptop that contains a video that shows Hillary Clinton and Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, torturing a child, including wearing her face skin as a mask, in order to scare her so her  blood…and it’s all fucking awful and dumb and anyone who believes it should not fucking be allowed in Walmart, let alone Congress. Greene commented on a mention of it on Facebook, “I post things sometimes to see who knows things. Most the time people don’t,” which is what you say when you don’t know what’s real and you’re a goddamn lunatic.

2. She said that mass shootings like Parkland and Las Vegas are planned events meant to give an excuse to authorities to confiscate your guns, and, holy shit, she loves her fuckin’ guns like they’re a vibrator she uses so much that she’s named it. Of the Vegas massacre at a country music festival, she really said it was chosen specifically to get new gun control laws: “Maybe you accomplish that by performing a mass shooting into a crowd that is very likely to be conservative, very likely to vote Republican, very likely to be Trump supporters, very likely to be pro-Second Amendment and very likely to own guns. You make them scared, you make them victims, and you change their mindset. And then, possibly, you can pass anti-gun legislation.” As you could say for every single one of these, she offered no actual evidence. It’s like insisting, “My husband comes home late every night smelling of semen and Axe body spray, so he must be pretending to be gay in order to expose the conspiracy to allow transgender people to choose their bathroom.”

3. She thinks that the Rothschilds (google it – basically, it’s shorthand for “Jews,” just like “Soros”) and a California energy company used “space solar generators” to fire a laser that started the wildfires in that state in order to clear land for a high-speed rail system that will financially benefit the above and Jerry Brown and, Jesus fuck, I feel dumber just for having written that. In her hilarious Facebook post on the space laser, Greene assures us, “I’m posting this in speculation because there are too many coincidences to ignore.” If you’ve ever wondered who the fuck are the people who post this shit, well, they’re in Congress now.

4. She has suggested that Nancy Pelosi should be executed by firing squad for treason and that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama should be hanged for something something Iran, and you gotta imagine that that kind of shit is an HR nightmare.

5. Oh, this is not to mention her racism, Islamophobia, homophobia, and generally despicable world view where white Christians who support Donald Trump are the only people who should have any say. In one truly fucking idiotic act, she marched into the Capitol in February 2019 to try to get Reps. Omar and Tlaib (you know, part of the Squad, the Moby Dick to the nutzoids Ahab) to retake their oaths of office on a Bible rather the Quran they had used because she thinks that’s illegitimate. Except you can take your oath with your hand on anything: “I swear by the crisp and stuck-together pages of this copy of the Marquis de Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom…” The oath is important, not the book you fondle while taking it.

And that’s just Greene. Gun nut and food poisoning enthusiast Lauren Boebert and Nazi-lover (and that’s not hyperbole) Madison Cawthorn, both also actually at least as dumb as Louis Gohmert, deserve their own lists of bullshit. By the way, none of these are working class, everyday people suffering from economic anxiety. Greene is fucking wealthy, so she’s just attention hungry, power mad, and bugfuck insane.

This is the kind of shit that Republicans and the news media ignore when they’re asking Democrats why they’re not “unifying” the Congress or the country. It’s beyond ludicrous. Democrats are being asked to work with people who have stated that they should be killed by mob law. You don’t “unify” with your terrorists. You unify with others to get rid of the terrorists, and you tell anyone who wants to let the terrorists terrorize without consequences to go fuck themselves.

The question should be posed to Republicans: “Why won’t you join with Democrats to condemn the fucking violent assholes in your caucus and call for their removal? Wouldn’t that make Congress function better? Why do you hate unity?”

But, instead, we’re supposed to be worried because President Joe Biden is signing a lot of executive orders to unfuck the country that the terrorist leader fucked.

Editor’s Note: This essay originally appeared on January 29, 2021 on The Rude Pundit, a website featuring commentary by Lee Papa.  It was reproduced here with the consent of Mr. Papa.

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