If there is one thing that is consistent about President Donald Trump, who is really just a brain-damaged hog whose squeals can only be understood by other brain-damaged pigs, it’s that he refuses to take blame whenever he’s wrong. It’s not that he never apologizes, like the world’s shittiest tween, but he also works mightily to make sure someone else is to blame for his transgressions, his crimes, and his evil (yet dumb) schemes.
And his most typical move is to find someone else to blame and belligerently push that idea until he or everyone else moves on. For instance, take the lack of a national response to the coronavirus crisis. We know from the Washington Post and elsewhere that Trump didn’t want a national, coordinated plan because he was shit-his-Depends scared that he would get blamed for the deaths and misery. It shows how out of touch with reality he is that he thinks he could possibly escape blame. But I suppose the only Americans who count to him are those in MAGAstan, where they are already melting their wedding rings into molten gold so they can create a monument to Trump in his normal color.
When it comes to the executive order and memoranda about payroll taxes, the unemployment bonus that’s run out, student loan payments, and foreclosures/evictions that Trump signed after talks between the White House and Democrats broke down a few days ago, what at first seemed like, depending on your perspective, an outrageous undermining of the separation of powers in the Constitution or a courageous leader taking a stand for struggling workers, turns out to be just another case of this pampered pussy passing the buck and creating a way to blame others. It’s bullshit, it’s smoke and mirrors, and it’s fucking enraging that dickhead conservatives are praising him for them.
For instance, in the memorandum on the unemployment bonus, Trump lays the program at the feet of the governors. First, he’s saying, “I am calling on States to use amounts allocated to them out of the CRF [Coronavirus Relief Fund], or other State funding, to provide temporary enhanced financial support to those whose jobs or wages have been adversely affected by COVID-19.” So use the meager funding you were given but maybe haven’t spent yet now on something you hadn’t budgeted for and if you don’t do it, then your state’s unemployed won’t get the bonus money, which, by the way, we’re reducing, so fuck your tax revenue, too. A governor has to agree to administer this program, which is something outside of regular unemployment and thus a new system has to be created, which will take months to get up and running, and agree to give 25% of the bonus funds, or go fuck yourself.
See? When this whole bullshit promise to give those struggling help to put food on the table or to pay their rent (and who will still face eviction because whatever the fuck that executive order on evictions does, it sure as fuck doesn’t prevent them from happening), Trump can say, hey, look at the governors, they did it. And I can fuckin’ guarantee that they’ll find a way to make sure the program works in Texas while not in Virginia, which has a Democratic governor. So not only does Trump not want to give more money for struggling states, he wants them to pony up. Hell, there are mob bosses who would think that’s a dirty protection racket.
The same kind of thing goes for the double bullshit of the correctly named “Memorandum on Deferring Payroll Tax Obligations.” It not only does dick for the unemployed, but, as it says right there, it’s just a deferral of the tax. Someone’s gotta pay it or fuck your Social Security and Medicare. So you’ll pay it at the end of the year. Trump promises that he’ll make the deferral permanent if he’s reelected, which will fuck Social Security and Medicare to death, which was the plan all along. The goddamn thing is such a legal clusterfuck for businesses, which are obligated to take the taxes out, that most will probably just say, “Oh, fuck this” and not do it, and, voila, another group for Trump to blame for problems that his incompetence, buffoonery, and evil caused.
It’s all an illusion, a lie, a trick. “Look over there while I pull this destruction of the social safety net out of a hat.” But, hey, the postponing of student loan payments doesn’t suck.
That’s the way this shit goes with this toad of a human, this nadir of the presidents. The buck stops anywhere but with Mr. “I Take No Responsibility.” Everything’s a hoax. Everything exists to help him or hurt him. He’s says he’s an innocent victim of a cruel world when he’s the cruelty itself in an orange shitsack.
By the way, if you wanna see just how pathetic a worm Trump is, read the executive order on evictions. Here’s the first sentence: “The 2019 novel coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, which originated in the People’s Republic of China, continues to pose a significant threat to the health of Americans throughout the United States.”
Come for the desperate buck-passing. Stay for the self-fellatio: “As we have since January 2020, with the proactive decision to limit travel from China and the passage of three massive economic relief packages, my Administration will take whatever steps are necessary to reduce the spread of COVID-19 and maintain economic prosperity.”
He doesn’t mention, as you might imagine, that Congress passed those economic relief packages. Because taking credit for the work of others is the yang to his blame others yin.
Editor’s Note: This essay originally appeared on August 8, 2020 on The Rude Pundit, a website featuring commentary by Lee Papa. It was reproduced here with the consent of Mr. Papa.