Government Shutdown: These Crazy Bastards Might do it Again

The cries of “What about the babeeeez?” get louder and louder as the delusional dogs of the right and their opportunistic fleas demand that no more government tax dollars go to Planned Parenthood.  Even as the fake organization that set up a fake sting to get fake videos to fake a scandal release yet another bullshit tape that purports to show skeevy activity, motherfuckin’ true believers are takin’ it to the motherfuckin’ wall.  Government shutdown, bitches, rather than give tax money to an organization that spends even a red cent on making baby jerky or whatever it is they’re accused of.

In fact, if you don’t support defunding Planned Parenthood, you are one of those no-good assholes who “care more about facilitating the harvesting of baby body parts than they do about the lives of those children and the conscience objections of the citizens they serve,” says Representative Kevin McCarthy of California and the Majority Leader in the House.  McCarthy, it should be noted, voted several times against expanding the Children’s Health Insurance Program so it could cover more kids.  So maybe he should just calm the fuck down over who cares about the kiddies.

You know who won’t calm the fuck down, even if you use a cattle prod and an elephant tranq gun? Erick “Erick” Erickson of the conservative baby wipe known as RedState.  For Erickson, if you believe that aborted fetuses should be used for research in medical science, you’re worse than an asshole.  Oh, much, much worse: “This is a fight on principle over whether the Republican Party should stand by and let our tax dollars be used to subsidize the American Mengeles of Planned Parenthood or not.  This is a fight about whether our tax dollars should be used to subsidize harvesting children’s brains and hearts and lungs and livers.”  Now, it might seem that American Mengele would be the worst reality competition show ever, but Erickson really believes that fetal tissue research with dead fetuses is the same as torturing live children to death.

Remember: almost all abortions are done before the second trimester.  Almost no abortions are done in the third.  We’re not talking about stone-cold killing a ten year-old here.

But this is where the nutzoid wing of the conservative wing of the Republican Party is declaring, “You shall not pass.”  And with rational statements like “Children in the United States of America are being cut up and sold for scrap,” you can bet that the debate is going to be as dignified as we’ve come to expect from the GOP.  One GOP “moderate” in Congress is offering a deal to try to head off the shutdown, saying, “Hey, let’s just defund those few Planned Parenthoods that actually do provide fetal tissue to researchers.”  It’s a measure of how degraded our politics has become that “moderate Republican” now means, “Wants to keep the government running.”  And this is putting the leadership in Congress, McConnell and Boehner, on a collision course with the fucking loons, like Ted Cruz, who needs to do something other than be a lamprey on Trump’s ass in order to get attention to his presidential campaign.

It’s like we’re dealing with mad bombers, the kind who you think you can bargain with but who click the switch no matter how reasonable you think you sound.

Editor’s Note: This essay originally appeared on September 15, 2015, on The Rude Pundit, a website featuring commentary by Lee Papa.  It was reproduced here with the consent of Mr. Papa.

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