Goldman Sachs: No Honor Among Thieves

Goldman-Sachs, acknowledged far and wide by all objective sources not engaged in predatory global finance, is perhaps the most devious, all-consuming, and nefarious institution on the planet.  Its role in the 2008 meltdown is well documented, yet it emerged entirely unprosecuted.  Its wink and a nod loans to Greece in 2001, to allow that country to enter the EU, was directly responsible for the catastrophic state of that country.  Its history of venality, immoral behavior (even by Wall Street standards) and general antithetical relationship to the human race (hedging global food prices that results in misery and starvation for millions) is all on the book.  Goldman, in short, is perhaps the most corrupting and immoral institution on the planet.

So, do you want to work for Goldman?  Here's what you have to do in order to work for a catering organization serving the mighty oligarchs there.  This is one hundred percent authentic, as I know somebody who does this for a living.  After receiving this, he has concluded never to work at the Goldman site again.

You are invited to participate in the Goldman Sachs background check. This means you have been to this location before or selected to go there in the near future. In order to continue your working relationship with this location you must complete a full background check. This is a very strict and important policy at Goldman Sachs.
You may begin this process by setting up an appointment through ____ to go to Goldman Sachs 200 West St. The best time for an appointment is any given Tuesday between the hours of 10:00am-11:00am. At the appointment the following will take place:
1.    Report to Lorena on the 12th Floor Kitchen Office, check in, receive basic paper work, and complete fingerprinting.
2.    Lorena will send you to the Health Center for a urine test.
3.    You will receive a user ID/password to login to the background check website.
4.    You will have 30 days to sign in and COMPLETE the online application with the following information:

  • Credit History – Historical (12 years) and current credit search in accordance with the requirement of the Fair Credit Reporting Act.
  • Criminal History – Review of court and/or police records.
  • Each address of where you’ve lived in the past 10 years-None of these dates can overlap.
  • Each employer you’ve had in the past 10 years-None of these dates can overlap.
  • All schools you have attended in the past 10 years-None of these dates can overlap.

**It is VERY important no dates overlap and all information is inputted correct within 30 days of your appointment. If any error is made it will result in failing the background check**

You are considered in progress once you go online, fill out and submit the online application.
This background check is not mandatory; however, if you choose to decline you will not be able to work at any Goldman Sachs location.

Please let us know if you are interested or not, if interested email or call XXX member services to set up an appointment.

Thank you!

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